


i miss that feeling

by katplanet



Series: sleep to the freezing [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ghost Sex, Klaus-Typical Falsely Cavalier References to Past Trauma, Linked Footnotes, M/M, Reunion Sex, Romance Is Dead But Its Ghost Is Still Kicking, Top Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26762902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katplanet/pseuds/katplanet
Summary: “I wasn’t sure I would ever get to tell you,” Dave says. He cups a hand around Klaus’s skull, tangles his fingers in his curls. “I know you know that pain and anger last, but love does, too. Some of us stay for love.”The wet pressure behind Klaus’s eyes is creeping up to the surface. “It is - it is taking a lot out of me to resist diffusing that with jokes.”
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Series: sleep to the freezing [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1327031
Comments: 21
Kudos: 52





	i miss that feeling

**Author's Note:**

> takes place during chapter four of [like real people do](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392933/chapters/43558535), but if you don’t want to read 20k of ben/dave, all you need to know is that dave could see klaus but klaus couldn't see dave, and now klaus can see dave again. a tender dicking ensues
> 
> i did my best to code the footnotes correctly lmao, lmk if anything is wonky!!

Klaus gets Dave - Dave, _Dave_ \- in bed on top of him, like he's been wanting to nonstop since the last time he had Dave in bed on top of him, which was in another country decades[a] in the past, and then he lies there underneath him and does nothing except wrap his arms around him and cling.

Dave's a good fucking sport about it, naturally. He's nice and heavy[b], a weighted blanket that's capable of feeling and expressing love, and he smooshes Klaus down into a pancake and kisses him.

"I missed this, sweetheart," Dave says in his voice, his actual beautiful voice.

"I think if I say anything about my feelings I'm going to die."

"No feelings," Dave says, "got it. Not until we've put your affairs in order."

"I love you," Klaus tells him. "That's not a feeling. That's just a fact."

"Love you too, darlin'."

Dave kisses him again, and Klaus slides his hands all over Dave's skin, taps at the freckles on his shoulders. He's incredibly naked, straddled over Klaus's lap, and like, maybe it's cliche to reunite with the dead love of your life and immediately drop trou, but dear god. Klaus got an eyeful in the half a minute it took them to strip. Death has been kind[c] to Dave.

Klaus probably looks - not bad, just different. His hair is growing out, which is always cute, but he's losing some of his pack-lugging muscle tone, gaining some sobriety padding. A little older, a little tireder.

"You're so beautiful," Dave tells him. "I've been looking at you without being able to touch you. I just - I love touching you."

"You want me for my body, Katz, is that it?"

"I want you through your body."

"Oh, god." Klaus rolls his hips up into Dave to feel his weight pushing him back down. "I've lost my tolerance for smoothness, you're gonna make me swoon."

Dave laughs, kisses Klaus on the cheek. “You better shut me up, then. For your own safety.”

“No, no, you should keep talking. I don’t ever want you to stop talking.”

“Sure,” Dave murmurs into Klaus’s jaw. “What do you wanna hear?”

There are - a lot of possible answers to that question.[d] “Uh.”

“Can I say I love you again?”

Klaus shuts his eyes. Nods.

“I love you. My whole world ended, and I didn’t stop loving you. Not for a second.”

“Jesus, Dave.”

“I wasn’t sure I would ever get to tell you,” Dave says. He cups a hand around Klaus’s skull, tangles his fingers in his curls. “I know you know that pain and anger last, but love does, too. Some of us stay for love.”

The wet pressure behind Klaus’s eyes is creeping up to the surface. “It is - it is taking a lot out of me to resist diffusing that with jokes.”

“Go ahead.” Dave kisses Klaus’s forehead. “I wanted you to hear it. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. That was it.”

“Okay, um, wow, remember to thank me in your Oscar speech.”

“You’ll be last but not least.”

“Diffusion jokes don’t really work if you play along with them.”

“Hmm,” Dave says, “what a shame.”

“Ugh,” Klaus says[e], and pulls Dave down into another kiss.

They hold each other like that for … some amount of time. It all goes hazy.[f] Repetitive movements of lips and bodies, a rhythm that Klaus can lose himself in. He’s hard, has been since they hit the mattress, but his dick is just another part of his body, at the moment. Another piece of him that wants to be as close to Dave as possible, no higher or lower priority than his mouth or his legs or his hands.

The only reason Klaus even considers doing anything else ever again in his life is that Dave is hard, too. Klaus had known that ghosts could get hard on an intellectual level[g], but it’s a different thing entirely to feel a ghost boner nudging into his stomach. It’s nice, even if it’s astral and tepid. Klaus hadn’t realized how much he missed other people's dicks. Jesus, he’s been so fucking cooped up.

“I want to make out with you forever,” Klaus says, “but I also want to fuck you.”

Dave slides his gorgeous hands down to Klaus's hips and pushes his thumbs into the dips between his bones. "We should keep making out, and you should fuck me while we do it."

“God,” Klaus sighs, “yeah, you’re so smart.”

“Just like this?”

Klaus will have to reach over to the bedside table, get his sad neglected bottle of lube[h], but, "I really, um. I _really_ don't want to move."

Dave snuggles him down into the mattress. "I've got you, honey," he says, and he kisses Klaus so hot, so sweet. Caramelized. And then he reaches back and shifts his hips and just-

-puts Klaus's dick in him, what the fuck?

"Holy shit." Klaus tries to get a hold on Dave and ends up scratching all over his back. "Oh my god, Dave, baby, what are you doing."

"Ghost stuff," Dave says, like Klaus is supposed to have any clue what that means? Maybe he should know.[i] But he doesn't, and even if he wanted to try to figure it out, it would have to wait until Dave wasn't suddenly _on his dick_.

"Oh my god," he says again, because if he doesn't send some of his brain out through his mouth he's going to explode.

"This okay?" Dave asks him, and he rolls his hips once, goes extra tight around Klaus for a split second.

"Nothing has ever been more okay than this."

Dave grins his big handsome grin, the one that made Klaus decide that his own life wasn't actually the scariest thing in the world to lose. Klaus wants to lick his teeth. He tries, and it turns into a kiss, wet and slick like Dave's body around him.

Klaus means to give Dave time to adjust, he really does, but then Dave rocks his hips again, takes Klaus as far inside him as he’ll go, and Klaus twitches up to meet him without even thinking[j] about it. Little skin sounds between them, Dave humming into Klaus’s mouth. Klaus has fucked Dave more times than he's ever fucked any other one person, and it still stays so interesting, every feeling and noise and look at Dave's face flushed and kisslipped.

This is, objectively speaking, not their best showing. Klaus can't get as deep as Dave likes it, it's impossible from this angle, so he's just kind of bracing his heels on the mattress and doing his darndest. It feels amazing, absolutely stupid good for what it is, but most of the goodfeelingness is coming from Dave cuddled up on top of him, his rhythm when he grinds down into Klaus's belly[k] to get friction where he wants it. The thing to do would be to flip Dave onto his back and really go to town on him, give him a decent grip to come into, but that would require moving out from underneath Dave ever again. So he keeps fucking him kind of badly.

Klaus has had actual bad sex, though. Some real hook your heels over the headboard and think about what's waiting on the dresser type of situations. This is so far removed from that that he can't remember what the other thing even feels like.[l] Dave is gasping against Klaus's mouth every time Klaus puts his hands somewhere new.[m] His whole strong beautiful body is moving over Klaus like the surface of a swimming pool next to the filter.

What Klaus is doing with his dick is not actually the most important thing about this, which is weird when dick things[n] have historically[o] been Klaus's main source of sex confidence[p], but hey, whatever! Whatever. Klaus is always down to try shit. Not like this is the most vulnerable position[q] he’s ever been in, god, far fucking from it[r]-

"I love you, Klaus," Dave says, because apparently this is what happens when you fuck the same person too many times. They start to notice when you wander off.

“More than anything,” Klaus says into Dave’s mouth. “More than the world, baby.”

Dave pushes up on his elbows enough to look at Klaus’s face. Which is like, leagues more intimate than Klaus is ever prepared for. It should feel silly, gazing lovingly into someone’s eyes while you’re mashing bits down in the other hemisphere, and on some level, it does. But that’s a stupid level, a level that Klaus tries very hard to put below him wherever Dave is concerned. It helps that Dave looks at Klaus while they fuck the same way he looks at Klaus while they eat shitty rations or while they lose round after round of poker because they keep getting distracted looking at each other.

“Oh, god,” Klaus says, “please kiss me, I’m going to cry.”

Dave grins at him, staggeringly at odds with the way he’s rolling his hips in Klaus’s lap. “Over little ol’ me?”

“Yes, you awful man, come here.”

Dave nuzzles into a kiss, sweet and sexy and fucking _playful_ , a nip at the center of Klaus’s lower lip, a flick of tongue to ease the sting. And look, Klaus’s business hasn’t exactly been booming[s] in recent months. He’s going to have to close up shop sooner rather than later. Storewide sale, all must go.

“I am not gonna last, baby,” Klaus says.

“What happens when you come inside a ghost?”

Klaus laughs out loud, a little wetly. “Not a clue.”

“One way to find out,” Dave murmurs, and he kisses Klaus again, but this time it’s so gentle, his hand cupped around Klaus’s jaw like he’s something soft, something delicate. And then he grinds his ass down into Klaus’s lap because he’s a fucking power bottom and Klaus is the luckiest idiot who ever tripped dick-first into happiness, and Klaus digs his nails into Dave’s back and snaps up into him and moans against Dave’s lips and comes first like an inconsiderate asshole.

Except it doesn’t feel inconsiderate, actually, not when Dave moans right along with him and licks into his mouth. Like the things that do it for Klaus do it for him, too.

Coming inside a ghost body doesn’t seem like it’s going to be different from coming inside an alive person body.[t] The thing that makes it different - and oh, this is an embarrassing thing to think, this is staying between Klaus and his brain - the thing that makes it different is that it’s Dave’s body, his beautiful perfect body, and Klaus loves him.

“God,” Klaus slurs, “I love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart,” Dave says, rocking into Klaus’s stomach. Which is just depressing, Klaus should at least give him a hanj for his trouble, but unwrapping his arms from around Dave’s waist is a pretty astronomically big ask at the moment. And Dave feels so good moving in his hold, his cheek pressed to Klaus’s jaw, and it’s not like Klaus won’t be able to give him as good as he got later.

They have later. They can do this again later.

Klaus kisses along Dave’s neck, nibbles at his shoulder, and Dave grinds down into Klaus hard once, twice, stays pressed against him and rolls his pelvis slow and dirty. Klaus slides one hand down Dave’s back, gets a hold on his ass and feels his muscles working, pushing against Klaus like he’s fucking him.

“Let me have it, baby,” Klaus says, and Dave shudders and kisses him, grinds his hips until he trails off and goes still and heavy.

And then they lie there together.

The nice thing about Dave is that he doesn’t roll off of Klaus when they’re done. He believes Klaus when he says that he likes it, that he floats a little bit out of himself sometimes when things get really good and it’s nice to have something weighing him back down into his body. Dave’s perfect[u] for it, too, built a little broader than Klaus in all the right places.

Klaus’s hands start wandering after a while. They do that, whether or not he wants them to; at least they have something nice to occupy themselves with at the moment. He walks his fingertips up and down Dave’s back, strokes over his ribs. Dave sighs and sinks even further into Klaus.

"Okay," Klaus says into the curve of Dave's neck, "explain _ghost stuff_."

Dave laughs into Klaus's hair and shifts aside just far enough to look at him. "I don't know, exactly," he says. "We think it's because these bodies are just extensions of our minds. And my mind remembers, so my body remembers, too. You know?"

“That is fascinating.”

“I mean, it’s convenient, I guess.”

“No, seriously, I think that has, like, cosmological implications.”

“Please find some other example to use when you explain it to people.”

"Well, I hope you've been getting some fucking mileage out of it, baby."

"Here and there," Dave says, and his grin goes a little softer. "Look, I know we didn't really get to talk about it, just the two of us-"

"Nothing to talk about," Klaus says.

"Well," Dave says, "no, actually, there _is_ something to talk about."

"Yeah, fair." Klaus pets at Dave's cheek. "You have my unequivocal blessing to mack on my ghost brother. Does that cover it?"

"Pretty much." Dave leans in the little distance it takes for him to kiss Klaus.

And Klaus almost lets him, lets his gorgeous lips brush over his, and then pulls back and says, "If you break his heart, we're going to have words."

Dave nods, solemn. "I would expect nothing less."

"I mean it. I've never seen that boy make googly eyes the way he does at you. You'd better be earning them."

"I'm doing my best."

"I know you are," Klaus says, "which is why I'm letting you anywhere near him. Just so we're clear, young man. Don't make me get the shotgun down off the wall. I mean, I don't have a shotgun, but Five would bring me one. Maybe."

"Why are you suddenly trying to pretend you're joking?"

"Ugh, I've never given the shovel talk before, I got self-conscious halfway through. Am I doing okay?"

"You're doing great, sweetheart."

"Thanks," Klaus says. "You make him happy. It's nice to see him happy."

Dave does kiss Klaus this time, a light press of lips, gentle fingers brushing over his jawline. "You make him happy too, you know."

"He didn't get to pick me."

"Lucky draw for him, I'd say."

“Maybe. I’m not gonna be dicking him down any time soon, though.”

“No one can be all things to all people.”

“You’re so hot when you’re wise.”

As much as Klaus likes Dave on top of him like a handsome hydraulic press, his ribs are starting to be less into it. He nudges at Dave’s hip, and Dave rolls them to the side, still pressed together all down their fronts, face to face on the pillow. It’s a good setup for kissing, so they do some of that. Some petting of hair, some stroking of cheeks. Some eye-gazing.

And like, Klaus is solidly on the wrong side of 30, but he could definitely get it up again. Fuck Dave right for round two, or let Dave fuck him. They used to have goddamn marathons back in ‘Nam, when everything was timetabled and they had to get their dicks in each other as often as possible before one or both of them died early and horribly.[v] Dave wore Klaus out like he’d never been worn out before in his life, which was a high fucking bar to clear. It was fantastic.

But this, snuggling in the dark with absolutely nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one to shoot at or get shot by-

“Do you wanna date me?” Klaus asks Dave.

Dave laughs, sweet like bells. “Yeah, I’d love to date you.”

“I’ve never been a boyfriend before. Not really.”

“Oh, bull. You’ve been _my_ boyfriend.”

“We were in a war zone.”

“What, crawling through the jungle wasn’t your idea of a night out?”

“Not if the jungle is literal, no.”

Dave kisses the tip of Klaus’s nose. “You were my boyfriend when you woke me up from my nightmares,” he says, “and you were my boyfriend when you found us all the best food on leave. You were my boyfriend when you helped me believe I was allowed to love you. That’s what matters.”

“I love you,” Klaus says, “and I am going to blow your mind with my date outfits.”

“I’m ready.”

“You are not ready.”

They kiss, slow and easy. Nothing urgent, nothing desperate. It ends when it ends, and then they hold each other, foreheads touching. Sharing space.

"We should get Benjamin in on this," Klaus says.[w]

Dave calls Ben's name, softly enough that the other Hargreeveses shouldn't be bothered off in their own little enclaves, but Klaus feels Ben shuffle back to the mortal coil even before Dave says anything. His dead loved ones keep telling him he's a beacon, that he like, summons them. It feels more like opening the screen door at night and having moths sneak in when he’s not looking. But they’re moths that he likes, that he actively wants to have flapping around his indoor lamps.

Klaus reaches over the side of the bed and finds pants for him and Dave to sleep in. They get dressed and resituated, and then there's a mousey knock at the bedroom door.

"Come in," Dave says, his arm around Klaus's waist. Klaus keeps his face in Dave's chest while his dumb brother lets all the light in, waves him over through the quagmire of his nerd insecurities.

Ben slots in with them just like Klaus knew he would.

He and Dave talk while Klaus starts to drift off, which is - unexpectedly nice. Listening to both of them speak to another person with the same casual warmth Klaus is used to hearing directed at himself.[x] All the comfort of familiar voices without any of the pressure to respond.

Falling asleep without narcotics is pretty hit or miss, in much the same way that doing most things without narcotics is pretty hit or miss for Klaus. It’s looking like sex is going to be helpful, at least on the sleeping front. And then there’s Dave’s arm tight around him, Ben’s hand on his shoulder, and it’s even easier to sleep when he knows what he’s going to wake up to.

-

a Which is also subjectively how long it feels like it's been since he's had this man up in his business, lord in heaven. [return to text]

b He feels like ghosts feel when they touch Klaus, sort of room temperature and weird, but not in a bad way. It's fine to be clutched at by the frigid grasping hands of spectres from beyond the grave when the hands belong to someone Klaus really, really likes. So, Ben. And now Dave. [return to text]

c Washboard abs for the rest of eternity. And no bullet hole! Not that Klaus had been expecting1 one. [return to text]  
1 dreading

d A lot of different paths Klaus could drag them down, conversationally speaking, very few of them sexy. Sometimes people find that hot, like maybe Klaus not knowing what’s appropriate to bring up around genitals is an indicator of wild unhinged sex adventures to come, or something. Dave doesn’t usually mind, either, but in his case it’s just because he’s nice. [return to text]

e It comes out very evenly, his dignified noise of disgust. Flawlessly executed contempt. No dampness anywhere in his voice or his tear ducts. [return to text]

f Like halfway into a really good round of flogging, except somehow even more overwhelming. [return to text]

g He had known on an intellectual level that ghosts could get hard, and he had known that ghosts could, on an intellectual level, get hard. Metaphysical mind dicks! They2 never talked about those in sex ed. [return to text]  
2 Grace and Pogo

h After ten months of making do with vaseline, Klaus had gotten some of the good stuff just because he could. If using it made him miss the viscosity of petroleum jelly on his fingers, and maybe by extension also miss some other things that made jerking off an exercise in futility, well, that was just longer before he had to go through the grueling process of explaining to Five exactly what kind of bottle to pick him up. [return to text]

i Maybe if he'd ever thought about his powers beyond 'please make them stop' he'd have some frame of reference. All that training didn't do shit, and hey, look, there's the absolute worst thing for him to think about when he's actively trying to enjoy himself! He's gonna slam the breaks on that right there before he starts thinking about, god fucking forbid, Sir Re- nope. Nope. [return to text]

j It’s been a minute, okay? He’ll get his stroke back. It’s like riding a bike. Or being the bike that’s ridden. [return to text]

k That sobriety padding is really earning its keep. They should have covered this in rehab, the rest of it might have stuck better. [return to text]

l He can remember, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about most things, at the moment. [return to text]

m All the places on his body that Klaus had loved to touch whenever they had the time and space to get their clothes off. The pretty dip right above his ass, the muscles in his thighs, his hands - his perfect hands, thick gentle fingers with little calluses from carrying the same shit all day every day. Klaus had touched his hands when they had their clothes on, too. Klaus had touched his hands whenever he could get away with it. [return to text]

n Both things involving Klaus’s dick and things involving Klaus’s interactions with other people’s dicks. People generally wanted one or the other, not a lot of overlap, which always struck Klaus as a wasted opportunity. [return to text]

o It was easy to touch Dave for the first time, knowing that it was going to be good for him. Easy to let Dave touch him, knowing that he could make that good for Dave, too. And then it was also good for Klaus, which, hey, pleasant surprise. [return to text]

p Pussy fills him with awe and holy terror, which are also powerful motivators. [return to text]

q A girl’s gotta pay the cable bill3 somehow. [return to text]  
3 Klaus has never had a cable bill. No one Klaus knows has ever had a cable bill. This is not to say that Klaus has not had other important voluntary expenses to cover.

r Nothing like a saint andrew’s cross in the basement of a leather bar to really drive home the glories of vulnerability. Or getting choked out a little bit on a fire escape by a super nice girl with rings on like every single finger, or waking up in his bed at the Academy with a whole night missing and carpet burn all down his ribs, which maybe doesn’t belong on the same list as the other stuff, actually, or- [return to text]

s He’s barely even been embezzling funds, or whatever the masturbation analogue would be in this shit metaphor. [return to text]

t Maybe if Dave blipped out of space, the jizz would stay behind? Like, a gross puddle of cold ghost sex jizz? Klaus … truly does not care. [return to text]

u Like they were sculpted from the clay at the dawn of creation to nest into each other like the coastlines of continents, or whatever. Gross. [return to text]

v Who needs performance enhancers when you’ve got constant existential terror? [return to text]

w There are all kinds of excuses Klaus could make for wanting Ben around, but listen. If his two favorite people in one cuddle is what the universe has got to offer him after all the ringers it's put him through, he'll take it and call it even4. [return to text]  
4 At least halfway to even. The mausoleum stuff was a lot.

x He assumes that‘s what they sound like when they love someone. Hopes, maybe. [return to text]


End file.
